Minimum Wage at Rush Hour

Right, wing-rhetoric doesn’t represent a small business. Some small business owners support fair wages for fair work.

In cars, the sound of raving conservative talk show hosts halts many drivers flirting radiofrequency. Amidst sizzling sounds of spittle hitting the mike, the media moguls expound the evils of left-wingers who want to raise the minimum wage. Here is an excerpt from a recent program by Rush Limbaugh:

The Rhetoric

Now we’re going to kill even more jobs because we’re going to raise the minimum wage a buck. Small businesses, folks, have a certain amount of money allocated in their budget for payroll. It’s the #1 expense for all businesses, and that is just not an infinitely large pile of money.Minimum Wage at Rush Hour 2

Putting this theory into practice, Bob, a small business owner, has exactly four employees. Let’s say he pays double the minimum wage for clerical positions. For entry-level techs, he pays three times the minimum wage. He gives his employees raises and bonuses on a regular basis. The result, according to the talk show host is exactly right. By paying his employees a living wage, Bob does not have an infinitely large pile of money. He is not filthy rich; he is merely “comfortable.”

The “Down” Side

Say, one of his employees was living in a car, which can comfortably house a family of four on a minimum wage salary, Bob would be driving a 2008 Mercedes, fully loaded, instead of a measly C240. Instead of sending his children to private schools with urchins who wear Hollister jeans and whose parents can pronounce Crème Brule on a pricey menu, his tots toil at public schools. No doubt, their college education is going entail a university with “state” in its name.

Sure, Bob’s turnover is low, his employees are rarely absent, and they do good work. Nevertheless, what about the finer things in life like country club memberships, yachts, and mansions? His wife even has to do her own housework.

People say that faith helps, and God knows many people go to church every single Sunday and pray for more money. How is an infinite power supposed to supply an infinite source of money when He knows liberals like Bob would only cut his employees an even larger percentage of the gross?

Bob’s plight is different from towns colonized by Wal-Mart where a minimum-wage increase would mean that one worker ended up doing the job of four. Bob would never hear of not paying time and a half for overtime, but it bothers him not all when his daughters have to do their own manicures instead of going to a pricey nail salon.Minimum Wage at Rush Hour

Fair Pay for a Fair Days Work Hurts

In short, Bob and his family are doomed to spend the rest of their lives cruising around with their fannies ensconced in a late model sedan instead of the fancy car that they deserve, and that they could easily have, if only Bob paid minimum wage instead of top dollar to his small band of hard-working, loyal employees. That’s evil left-wing liberalism for you.

Some people believe in Rush hour. Americans like Bob won’t give them the time of day.

 

 

 

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